On choice.

The person you are can be determined by a number of things, starting off with personal choice. The things you choose to do and the people you choose to be around, the advice you choose to listen to and the morals you choose to ignore.
There is always a choice.
Sometimes people outgrow their choices, sometimes subconsciously, sometimes out of realistion that their chosen path is doing them no good.
Some people never do.
Who we are and the choices we make can be dependant. Choosng to live a certain life can be dependant on the advice we get, the people we hang out with, our upbringing, the past we try to escape and our everyday decisions and encounters.
Sometimes it is easy to get stuck in a life of thoughtlessness, selfishness, health destroying and mind destroying habits. It's easier to get stuck in this place when you want to run away. When, without realising, you create excuses and believe things whole heartedly that somewhere in you, you know are not true.
It's easier to believe those things when you surround yourself with people that encourage those thoughts. To say that all selfish acts are just ways to make sure you stay happy and do as you please. Tht all lies are just to protect. When did we become so selfish? When did we start taking our ability to have morals for granted?
They say your friends should bring out the best in you.
What does that mean though?
Sometimes what feels "good" or "fun" isnt always what is best. Its hard to recognise when your friends are pushing you to be a better person, or pushing you to stay stuck in a world of selfish hedonism.
If people were more compassionate rather then constantly selfish, then perhaps we would all be more understanding and cooperative. If people could be more honest, then perhaps the betrayal of a lie and broken trust would not be a pain that others would have to endure. If people thought about the consequences of their actions and the loved ones that they hurt when they make selfish choices then maybe there would be less hurt and more good.
If we could face our problems, rather then running away, maybe we wouldnt become stuck in that dark fake place.
I am not saying that I have not been selfish and that I will not be. Just that there is a difference between looking out for your own wellbeing and being selfish.
It's hard to watch the people you love that are in that dark place. And to never know if they will escape it. Ir's hard to watch and know that no matter what, they cannot hear you and you cannot help.
Whats more is that when you try, it is thrown back in your face. You are wrong for not seeing it their way.
You are wrong for wishing them health and goodness and compassion. Because to them those things have become twisted. Your good words, are twisted. Your love is twisted. It does not suit their darkness. And so you are pushed away.
Change is scary. Recognising choice can be scary. It takes them away from the place they have come to know as good.
Some people stop caring about the hurt they cause others in their choices.... and feel no guilt over it, and maintain a clear conscience. Life isnt fair and sometimes they manage to keep great things in their lives, but for the most part, these are the people that wont maintain true friendships or close relationships and will push away the people that love them most in exchange for close tight knit group of friends that will support their amoral choices and do the same amoral things and also never feel bad about the hurt they have caused.
What seems to be bad choices have been twisted to seem absolutely fine and guilt free.
I do not want to sound like I am on my high horse so I will put this in perspective. Who would agree that the following aren't bad choices and are admirable qualities in mankind:
Selfishness
Lying
Greed
Drug abuse
Alcohol abuse
Cheating
Murdering
Suicide
Violence
I think you know what I mean. These are the qualities that have destroyed lives and broken hearts. These are the traits of darkness. That drag us in under the false pretence of pleasure or fun or escape. And then keep us there.
And it makes me sad.
I hope that I do not get stuck there.
I hope that I do not lose myself to that place.
I hope that I continue to be thoughtful and honest.
What happened to the goodness of people?
Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself.
Honesty.
Love.
Compassion.
Respect.
Being humble.
I cannot say that I am a saint on the matter but I try my hardest, I try my best, I endavour to be an example of these values. Often I get hurt because others abuse this. But I do not sway. I cant fathom how someone could not want to be those things.
It's hard to watch the ones you love create a downward spiral for themselves. I hope that all my loved ones can escape it and know that there is still a good life to be had away from lies and other such things.
Good by what is achievable, even if it is only what we can achieve by man and nothing more. Selfless rather then selfish. Honesty rather then lies. Mindfulness rather then drug use. Understanding rather then aggression.
But it is all choice and we can only hope to be examples of good choices.
And I can only hope that this shows you that you have a choice.. You can reach out of your darkness to those that love you and no matter how far theyve seemed at times, have never abandoned you.
To every person that is struggling through a place of lies or abuse, drugs or selfishness, depression or adultery, no matter how difficult your struggle, or even if you do not realise it,
You are in my thoughts.
You always have a choice.